It seems set that Kraft is about to buy Cadbury.
Kraft, in case you’re not aware, is a subsidiary of Philip Morris, one of the worlds cuddliest cancer-stick manufacturers.
Please Kraft, just frack off and leave Cadbury alone. It’s bad enough that you have to own Vegemite. It makes me positively sick every time I open a jar of Vegemite knowing that in doing so, I’ve just put another few cents into the bottom line of a bottom feeder of a company.
I know chocolate and a bunch of other tasty ingredients go in cancer sticks to make them more appealing and taste slightly less like a turd on fire for at least the first few hits so that poor 14 year old bastards get hooked for life. Until suddenly at 60 they cough up half a lung and drop dead on the sidewalk – but for fracks sake, you just don’t need an entire chocolate company to keep doing that!
You can kiss good-bye to the Gorilla playing the drums; he’ll have emphysema and be too puffed to do that. And better save the clip of the kids doing the funky eyebrow dance. A few rounds of chemotherapy will leave them with no ‘brows left wiggle.
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